AUTUMN DREAMING

Dreaming of window seats and views over the Highlands today...

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Josephine: Her first day of school!

Coralie: Her first dance class!

SCOTLAND: friday

A few weeks ago we headed to Scotland on a very special trip. We got a bit of money after my Dad died, and going on an adventure was one of the things we decided to spend some of it on. My Dad had visited the Highlands a few years ago and he absolutely fell in love with it, and I knew the girls would love roaming free in the beautiful surroundings, so we decided to make it our destination. It was also our first holiday with just the four of us. We've always been away with family before, so it was extra special. It was also the perfect opportunity for the girl's first airplane trip - only about an hour from Bristol to Glasgow airport.

I think Phiney was most excited about the flight! She told everyone who'd listen that we were going on a plane, and we went through what the take off and landing would be like almost every day in the weeks before.

Coralie was as equally excited about getting a bus (we don't ever need to catch a bus!) from the car park to the terminal, so as soon as we arrived at Bristol Airport, both the girls were pretty excited, and they both LOVED the flight. Josephine loved when the plane sped down the run way before take-off and Coralie loved shouting 'ready, ready' as we were coming in to touch down. Our flight to Glasgow was incredibly cloudy, and we only broke through the clouds minutes before we landed, but our trip home was so clear, the girls spent the whole time looking out of the window and marvelling at the tiny world below.

When we arrived at our beautiful Airbnb cottage on Thursday, there was just enough time to head to the village and grab some fish and chips, before bed, and with the hugest pouring of rain on Friday, we hung out in our house lots, explored the grounds (we had bought waterproof everything, so were very prepared!) visited the Sea Life Centre on Loch Lomond and Ben went on a whiskey distillery tour and made his own unique brew (do they call it a brew with whiskey?!) It was a really lovely relaxing day and the girls loved exploring their Scottish home (and I loved taking photos there - it was so beautiful!)

HORSERIDING

Josephine is as obsessed with horses as ever (and Coralie too) especially after her ride when we were in Cornwall. My Auntie Jane looks after a horse, and had suggested bringing the girls along one morning to help her groom them and have a little ride. As you can imagine, the girls were pretty happy.

That morning, Phiney told me she didn't want to ride...I think she was excited and nervous and didn't quite know what to make of those emotions. I said that she should wait until we got there to see how she felt, and of course she instantly fell in love with Missy and wanted to ride as soon as she could.

As always, this parenting malarkey is a constant learning curve. Josephine can be quite sensitive and shy at times, and we've learnt that giving her some time to find her confidence (it mostly only takes her ten minutes) is the best way.

The girls both loved grooming Missy and Floyd, feeding them hay and carrots and finding poop to be cleaned away! Mostly though, they loved riding! Phiney rode the most, but Coralie was determined to have a go too, and rode behind Josephine for ages. There was always someone holding onto her (my cousin came too!) and she loooooved it.

We were laughing at how Josephine has this perfect rider's posture - that she could compete in dressage - and Coralie has this nonchalant, cowgirl-esque stance!!

I'm pretty sure horses are going to play a part in Josephine's future - and maybe Coralie's too!

OUR HOLIDAY: part two

Josephine is obsessed with horses right now. I think I've mentioned here that she has an invisible one called Isobel, and when you go into her room in the morning her bed is likely to be filled with them (unicorns and My Little Pony included) and a copy of Pony magazine. When she grows up, she wants to be a horse rider. So Ben and I planned a special treat for her. This was the stables my Dad and my aunties would ride at when they were on holiday in St Ives when they were small, so it's a pretty special place.

Phiney was so excited when we told her at breakfast. Her horse, Flora, was beautiful and she jumped on her like a pro - no hesitation or nerves. Ben had a huge and rather grumpy horse called Tonto and he said that as they were trekking he would see her slowly let go of the reins with one hand an stroke Flora on the back :) She trotted too, and came back full of how amazing and wonderful it had been. How lucky we are to be able to offer our girls these kind of experiences.

Coralie wanted her own horse too and so the brown one in the field is hers, in case she asks you. We went off to enjoy a yummy ice cream at the local tearoom with my grandparents while Ben and Phiney rode, but I can't wait for Coralie to be old enough and we can all go together.

This really was such an awesome morning. Magical...

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Josephine: When she grows up, she wants to be a princess, Mama and a horse rider. So this was a pretty big deal. Ben and I booked this as a surprise and she was so happy :)

Coralie: So happy to be by the sea on our first day in St Ives.

MOTHERHOOD CAPTURED: april

I hung onto this project by the skin of my teeth this month. In fact, Ben snapped this one in the garden on Saturday (last day of April!) as I had to get one done to post here. I'm grateful that the Motherhood Captured series is that little voice at the back of my head reminding me to get in front of the camera - even if it is only once a month. And no matter how staged it was, it's still a beautiful and natural moment between me and my babies. A capture that shows us in the garden, in the sun, playing around and cuddling and smiling and just enjoying being at home and in each other's company.

The months are moving by so fast this year, and I'm busily working behind the scenes on trying to make one of my dreams come true. It's exciting and nerve wracking and completely mind/time/energy consuming but I know that, in one way or another, it'll be worth it. I'm so happy to have to be able to give it a go, and the support to take some time and try to make it happen. Who knows if it'll work out, but I'm proud of myself either way.

As always providing for and inspiring my girls is what drives me. I want them to see and know that working hard and being passionate about something is what matters. I want to be their role model. And I want them to be proud of their Mama, in the same way I'm proud of them.

I turn 32 next week. For the first time I think I can see some little laughter lines on my face, maybe a faint wrinkle, and I've plucked a couple of grey hairs from my head in the last month or two. I don't feel 32 at all. I'm pretty sure I'm actually still 17, but apparently not. And in all honesty I don't mind aging. I am so lucky and grateful for all I have, for all that those 32 years have given me. I feel more confident in who I am, and what I want from life than ever before. Who knows what the next year will bring, but I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to be here, on that adventure.

WORK

 

As the new year started, I made the decision to work really hard at taking my photography business to the next level, and try to make some other career dreams come true. It's always been my plan to slowly build the photography stuff over these years while our babies are small and at home all day, and hopefully by the time they're off at school, I'm able to make it my full-time career.

Do what I love doing, be my own boss, earn some money, and be there to pick the girls up from school.

Trying to fit all that prep work into three two hour slots a week (while Coralie naps on the days Josephine is at nursery) is hard. And come the evenings and I'm mostly just too knackered to sit at the table for hours on end. It can be frustrating, but slowly slowly things are coming together and building. It's exciting, and I know it's worth it.

Occasionally, I try and fit in a bit of time at the computer while the girls are playing nicely. But I've learnt that it normally ends badly. They can sense my concentration is on something else, even if they haven't noticed what I'm doing, and bickering often ensues.

So it's best to get out, get some fresh air and not miss a second of what's happening today, whilst trying to build my business for the future.

The balancing act continues... (and these little Mama's make it all look so easy!)