Your first Christmas! I don't think you really have a clue what's going on, but I'm pretty sure you already love it. The flashing lights on the tree have you hypnotised and you've loved Father Christmas at both our Christmas trips this week. And with Josephine jumping around, it's hard for you not to become just as hyper!
As I sit writing this letter, and thinking of you, I can't help but think of our tiny baby. A head full of black hair, so little and helpless. But you've grown so much, and it's so crazy to think you're already 7 and a half months. A light brown Mohawk has replaced that black hair, and your chubby cheeks are evidence of your love of food (yoghurt and broccoli especially). You sit so confidently, and launch yourself forward to grasp the toys just out of reach. No desire to crawl, it seems, happy to just sit at the moment. You're talking more and more in that little language of yours, but you exclaim 'hello Dada' whenever you see him, and have the sweetest wave to accompany it. I'm hoping 'Mama' will come soon...
Your arrival in May turned a truly awful time into the most beautiful. When your Grandpa died, it was knowing that you were growing in my tummy, relying on me to help you get stronger and bigger, that kept me eating and sleeping and marching on. And as Josephine helped me smile during the day, it was you moving and kicking inside me, that kept me from breaking in the night. In those dark, quiet hours, when the tears would come, I contemplated growing new life while dealing with death. You look so much like your Grandpa my darling. From the moment you were born, and wow! Sometimes it takes my breath away. It's like he's looking back at me again, when I look at you. I love that you share that connection with him. You may have never met, but that connection is so strong, and it's a beautiful thing.
You gave me so much strength Coralie, and I'm so thankful for that.
It's strange to think of a time before your arrival, you have so happily slotted into our little family. Adored by us all, our little one. You are such a good natured girl. Today you are poorly, with the snottiest nose and heavy eyes. You've been ill for a couple of days now, so we're hoping it will have passed by Christmas, but despite unsettled nights and a horrid cough, you are still so happy. Happy to sit and play, happy to watch the world go by, happy to still eat every last mouthful of every meal.
But boy, do you make yourself heard when you think you're being ignored. Your shriek could smash glass, and it certainly attracts a lot of attention when we're in the supermarket. I can't help but laugh! And you're as impatient as your sister (and your Mama and Daddy!) too. Milk can't come fast enough when I lie you down to feed.
It's been such a wonderful experience breast feeding you sweet girl. I have to thank you for giving me the opportunity to walk that journey, and find some closure on the disappointment of my milk stopping when Josephine was tiny. I will write more about our breastfeeding story, but I have loved every moment so far, and I look forward to many more months of feeding you.
Coralie, you were born into the water, and you are so happy whenever you're back there. Tears melt away when I put you in the bath. You're happy to have your face splashed and hair washed and get drenched by Josephine. A couple of water babies, you two.
Every day we go for a walk, and you crane your neck to observe this crazy world. Watching the birds and the trees, the cars drive by, smiling at all the old ladies in the village who can't help but peer into the pram and talk to you.
You pull us right in for proper cuddles and give the most delicious open-mouth kisses (often soaking us in the process with ridiculous amounts of drool!) And you do this hilarious foot clap whenever you have bare feet. It's brilliant and so entertaining. I never want to forget that excitable little foot clap!
When I write to you next Christmas, you will have grown so much. You'll be walking and talking and we'll know so much more about you, about the person you've become. It's crazy to think of the change these next 12 months will bring in you, and I plan to soak up every minute and to do a better job at recording all those special moments, those big milestones and the magic in the everyday. Naughty Mama for being a bit rubbish this year. I promise I'll do better :)
Our tiny girl, what joy and light you have bought to our lives at such a dark time. Our sweet little creature. You are so wonderful. Happy first Christmas Coralie Joe, and may 2015 be simply wonderful.
I am so proud of you; so proud to be your Mama.I love you xx