REFLECTIONS

Later this week, on January 18th, we will be celebrating Josephine's first birthday. Celebrating the complete joy she has bought to our lives, celebrating the incredible little person she is now and is becoming, and celebrating our first year as three; our first year as parents.

No matter what people tell you, the advice you're given, nothing can prepare you for being a parent. The overwhelming love and happiness that fill your heart every second of every day; the changes such a tiny being can bring; the awesome highs and the exhausting lows.

This time last year we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our baby. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl growing in my belly (we thought boy!!) and we were going to bed each day wondering if tonight would be the night our baby would start its journey to be with us (baby was already 5 days late by this point). We had chosen the names, washed all the clothes, set up the baby's corner in our bedroom. Our plans had been made.

But not everything goes exactly to plan when you have a baby.

When I was pregnant I remember seeing Claire's post on the ten commandments she'd set herself when she was pregnant. Reading through them I realised that Ben and I had almost exactly the same ideas. I wondered how, on reflection in the months after our baby was born, we'd have done in obeying our own commandments. So here goes...

1. We will birth our baby naturally and calmly, together as three at home. PASSish. Josephine's birth was beautiful. The most wonderful experience. It was calm and natural, but sadly not at home. These babies of ours have their own plans when it comes to making their way into the world and so Phiney was born in hospital. You can read our full birth story here.
2. I will breastfeed our baby, absolutely without doubt. FAIL. Wow, that seems so harsh on myself given everything we went through. But it's the truth. In all honestly I'm not sure I'll get complete closure on the issue until we have another baby and (keeping all fingers and toes crossed) I breastfeed with success. I could write a whole post regarding my feelings about breastfeeding, one year on. Maybe I will. In the meantime, read the whole story here. I just re-read it and my heart broke a little. And then I read all your amazing, supportive comments and it mended a bit. You guys are just awesome.
3. We will use cloth nappies as much as possible. PASSish. At home we use them a lot, but the truth is, for us, disposables are just so much easier when you're out and about. And in the depths of winter, when it takes 3 days for nappies to dry, it's hard. But our plan was to use reuseables as much as possible and I believe we do that. Most of the time.
4. Vintage stores and the charity shop will be the main source of clothing and toys for our little one. PASS. With flying colours, I might add. Apart from gifts and the odd bargain sale piece, the only things that aren't vintage, secondhand or handmade in Josephine's wardrobe are basics. Tights, vests, t-shirts and leggings. Go me.
5. All food will be made with our own fair hands. PASSish. I would say 98% of the food Phiney eats is handmade. It is with great pride I write this, especially given that until around 5 months ago, I could barely boil an egg (Ben's the cook - and a bloody good one - in this house). Now I am the maker of most of her meals.
6. Baby will fit in with our routine, not the other way round. FAIL. Ha! This may have worked until Phiney was around 5 months old, but when we implemented a more structured nap and bedtime routine, it went completely out the window.
7. There will be no TV watching, especially children's channels. Instead we will read and play games. PASS/FAIL. In those first few months, when Josephine would feed then sleep, feed then sleep, I watched a lot of TV. Seriously, a lot. Thank goodness for Netflix. But as she started to play games and be more aware, I was pretty good at keeping the TV off. Today, I'd say the TV is mostly off but sometimes, when we've had a bad night, early morning or a grumpy baby I need a bit of adult company in the day. And Jamie's 15/30 Minute Meals is pure research ;)
8. We will go for a walk at least once a day. PASS. We love our walks. To the park, along the canal, to the shops. Everyday, at least once. It is always a joy to walk and talk to our little bird.
9. We will not clear shelves or move fragile pieces from easily accessible places. PASS. Sure there are days, when I've said 'no' a thousand times, that it is tempting to move picture frames and ceramic pots and cds and game consoles onto higher ground, but ultimately Phiney is doing really well at understanding there are some things she's just not allowed to play with. I'm particularly pleased with passing this one.  
10. We will not use a dummy. PASS/FAIL. Although I feel saying 'pass' is a total cheat. We bought a whole host of dummies when Phiney was born and we discovered that she very loudly made her dislike of being put down known to us. Unfortunately she refused every. Single. One. Now I see it as a blessing (no difficult weaning needed) but at the time we would have loved it if she'd happily kept one in her mouth! 

On the whole I think we've done rather well. Sure, there are a lot pass/fails but heck, I'll take that. High fives to us.

ps. There will be a whole lot more on the subject of my learning to cook and our love of secondhand fashion in a new series I'm going to start next week.

Picture by Tori

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Josephine's first real meal this lunchtime - left overs from our dinner last night (minus the pork) with mashed new potatoes then her first slice of apple for pudding. She loved it all, as you can tell. But boy oh boy this baby led weaning malarky is a messy business. The high chair is on order. Time for some more civil eating at the table me thinks.

Apart from lots of fun with food, is been a quiet old week round these parts, with matching Mama and daughter tooth ache. Phiney's tooth is coming through more everyday and is quite the weapon when she shoves your fingers into her mouth to chew on (ouch!), while mine resulted in a trip to the dentist and the discovery of an infection in one of my wisdom teeth.

Still, the antibiotics have kicked in and Josephine is coping admirably with the pain - although the total disregard for anything resembling a daytime nap is making any kind of housework or blogging nye on impossible. I'm following Em's lead on the housework front though - nothing is nicer for those with toothache than cuddling on the sofa and I'm more than happy to choose snuggles over dusting.

So, the news I'm sure you've all been waiting for, the winners of our giveaways. Drumroll please...

The winner of the Happy Circus giveaway is Lou from Little Green Shed
The winner of the Papier Mache magazine is Jude from Little Sleep

Congratulations to the both of you! If you can let me know you addresses I'll get the magazine out asap Jude and start knitting up your order Lou. And also another thank you to Lindsey from Lazer Baby Vintage for her very generous discount...I'm sure there's been a few people taking advantage of that one!  

Thank you to everyone for entering...I have some more seriously seriously good giveaways coming up over the next couple of weeks so stay tuned for those x

photos taken on my iPhone

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Having Ben home for a week was complete bliss. All three of us enjoyed every second of fun, games and lounging about with each other. Sure, the constant downpour of rain and the freezing temperatures (one day it was the same as it had been on Christmas Day apparently) put a stop to the picnics, gardening and walks along the canal we'd planned, but the snuggles on the sofa and lazing in bed more than made up for it.

Plus it was a week of firsts for Phiney. Knowing what a wiggle bum this little one is, we knew she'd love her bouncer as soon as her legs were long enough to touch the floor. And, boy, did she. To begin with she looked a little unsure, but as soon as the music started the girl began to dance and show us her moves. It was brilliant and she's been bouncing in it every day since. Only moving and bouncing when music is played. When Papa's around it's old skool hip hop. When Mama's in charge it's Rhianna and Whitney Houston. If you didn't know before, Ben is way way cooler than me. But in my books, you can't beat a bit of cheese when it comes to shaking your booty and having a dance.

Next up was some food. Food? This girl is growing so fast I can't believe we're already here. She's five months next week. Insane. Anyway, we always thought we'd like to try baby led weaning and over the last few weeks it has become more apparent with every mouthful we ate, that Josephine was getting very interested in food.

There hasn't been any meals yet, and we don't plan on starting those for a good few weeks, but there's been plenty of experimenting. Baby led weaning is all about our little ones learning about food. The tastes, the textures and smells. It's about giving them some food and leaving them to explore. Because we're not particularly organised we haven't bought Phiney a highchair yet, but her borrowed Bumbo complete with tray served us perfectly well.

Day one: A tree of soft broccoli, some skinless cucumber, a piece of avocado and a chunk of strawberry. The cucumber was apparently too boring for words and after a quick sniff was returned to the tray. The broccoli's strange texture occupied her for a while and she was licking it like a lolly pop with a quizzical look on her face. The avocado and strawberry? Unsurprisingly those got munched. Not entirely, but she certainly had a nibble.

Day two: Ben decided to try more interesting mixtures of flavours. On the menu (all homemade of course - Ben's been so excited about getting to this stage and making her first meals) was Tzatziki, houmous, a broad bean, pea and mint paste and a tomato (skinless and seedless), basil and onion concoction. We dolloped some on her tray and she went nuts. Scooping and licking the food off her tray like a cat, and "mmm"-ing all the way. She loved every. single. mouthful. What a joy to behold. But then, with us as her parents, the girl had to love her food. Ben and I revelled in this beautiful sight. Our first lunch together, snacking on the same pulses but with a couple of pitta breads thrown in for those of us with teeth. Since then there's been some yogurt and sweet potato mash too, all gobbled up with delight.

Yesterday Ben went back to work and his girls missed him so. We're not whole without him here. But when he walked through the front door last night, Phiney's face lit up and the biggest smile flew across her face. Papa was back, and our house became a home again.
  

ps. don't forget to enter the giveaways and claim your discounts. More info here.