27 WEEKS

As events unfold and time passes, the bump gets rounder. The baby grows, and kicks inside me become tummy wobbling punches. Dealing with death as I grow new life. I feel a connection between this baby and my wonderful Papa, so deep. When I get upset, the movement in my belly is stronger than ever. Reassuring me that there are such good things amongst the truly the horrid. That the best of times will emerge from the worst.

Keep growing strong little one, we can't wait to meet you. And know that your Grandpa is forever looking over you and your big sister, smiling down at you and us all xx

4/52

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2014".

After my beautiful Dad's funeral on Friday, we got to spend some time with one of his best friends, George, who came over from America to be with us for the service. Despite hearing lots about him, we'd never actually met George, with my Dad normally meeting him in other countries around the world, so to spend time with him and hear all his stories about our Dad was truly wonderful, and so appreciated. There were so many laughs, and he made the weekend so much easier for us all. I have no doubt my Dad was there with us, so happy to see us all getting on so well. Thank you George, you are truly one of the family now. 

ps. so windswept that day!

Taking part in Jodi's 52 Project.

3/52

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2014".

My sister, Dora, and Josephine. These two have such fun together. And in the toughest of times, laughter is the best medicine. 

Taking part in Jodi's 52 Project.

1/52 + 2/52

A few months back, I had wondered how I would continue The 52 Project in the new year. Knowing I wanted to, especially with Baby on its way, but pondering over a different angle to 2013's photographs. I quickly realised that so many times during the year, I had beautiful portraits of Josephine with the most special people in our lives that I had felt unable to use, and that maybe this would offer the opportunity to pull out the camera and capture the wondrous relationships Phiney has with so many people; friends and family, young and old. 

Over these past weeks, I have looked so many times at these photographs, so thankful for the wisdom to grab my camera and start snapping away at what I knew were such special moments between a Grandpa and his Granddaughter, while never knowing just how special. Today, these photographs mean the world to me and they will be cherished forever. 

I want photographs like this of all the fantastic people that make Josephine's life so awesome, and 2014's 52 Project seems like the ideal opportunity to keep it up, keep on clicking away, and keep on capturing the magic. 

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2014".

1/52: My loves. The strength these two have given me over the last few weeks has been astonishing. I couldn't have made it this far without them. And to have the honour of watching their love and friendship grow, day by day, is more beautiful now than ever before. I know the happiness of being a Daddy's girl, and I can see it in Josephine's eyes too. Sunday mornings in bed are our favourite time of the week. 

2/52: Hanging out with two of her best boys, Ari and Oliver, at Ari's second birthday party on Sunday. They've known each other practically their whole lives, and are so happy when they're together. What more do you need than good friends, a stairgate to hang off and a raspberry blowing session when you're two years old?

Taking part in Jodi's 52 Project.

ps. thank you all for the sweet messages and emails over these hardest of days. Your words mean so much, as always. xx

52/52

"A portrait of Josephine, once a week every week in 2013".

Unwrapping treasures from Father Christmas on Christmas morning. She walked into the living room when she got up and froze with delight as she laid her eyes on her stack of presents. 

Unintentionally the last portrait was taken in the same place as the first. What a difference a year makes. 

Taking part in Jodi's 52 Project.

my papa

On Friday December 27th 2013, my beautiful Daddy died suddenly in Australia. And our hearts are broken. 

After a morning snorkeling on The Great Barrier Reef with his love Dee, they got back on the boat smiling and laughing. Then, with no warning, he suffered a massive aneurysm. 

The last thing he knew was blissful happiness, and over the last week and a half, that has bought us all so much comfort. 

There are no words to describe what these days have been like. In all honesty, I still don't believe he is gone or understand what has happened; that I'll never speak to him, cuddle him, laugh with him again is ridiculous, and I'm struggling to comprehend that that's really true. In many ways I don't believe it is. In my heart I know that we'll see each other again, some day. But I'm not religious and so have nothing to really guide me at times like this, in terms of belief. With every day that passes, and through conversations with my sister and Grandma especially, I'm figuring it all out in my head though. Working out where my Dad is now and how he'll be by my side, always. 

The outpouring of love we've received from around the world has been incredible. My Dad worked in the film industry as a costume designer, and has been working in Australia since September. Throughout his career, he has worked around the world and with so many people, and they all love him. I'm so proud to call him my Dad, today more than ever. 

I can't write much here, right now. It's so raw, so hard to fathom. But I wanted to write it here. This is a diary of our lives, the good and the bad, and the heartbreaking. I'm not really sure how much I'll be round here. Grief is a crazy thing, and I've never had to deal with it before. Every day, every hour is different. But I will be posting 52/52, and I will be partaking in this year's 52 Project too so look out for those. More than ever, I've realised the power and meaning of photographs. 

Oh, my Papa. I miss you so much already. But I know you are with me, and always will be. Guiding me and holding my hand, and smiling down on us all. You are an inspiration, and I promise to live life to the fullest, as you always have. I love you, now and forever xxx