GETTING READY...

1. 38 weeks, and so big!
2. Washed and folded nappies, for a tiny bottom. 
3. Beautiful Nanny-made knits for Baby in the most delicious blue. My Mum's going to start making those booties for the shop soon - they're amazing! 
4. Getting into sewing again, and loving it; here, some boomers for Josephine in the best vintage fabric I've found for a long time.  

Two weeks ago I had three nights of the worst sleep I've had in more than 18 months - since Josephine was maybe 6 months old. I was waking at around 2.30am and not falling back to sleep until 6am-ish, if at all. There is so much zipping round my head right now and lying in the dark, I was just unable to turn it all off. It was all deafening me in the silence of the night. 

From how life would change with two little ones to the birth itself; how Josephine would cope, how we would cope, to money and the future and, of course, the continuing struggle of life without my wonderful Dad. 

After the third night, it occurred to me that I had to do something in the day to stop this onslaught of thinking in the middle of the night. So I wrote the Mother of all to-do lists and starting, slowly, making my way through it. I realised that so much of what was keeping me awake was the prospect of having so much to do before the baby arrives, so to aliviate the insomnia, I needed to eliviate the reason. 

Over the last couple of weeks I have done so much. Slowly and steadily it's all being crossed off the list. From tidying (and I mean, serious spring cleaning - sorting, throwing away and the deepest clean) to washing the baby's things and getting those general bits and bobs done around the house that I've been meaning to do for months. 

And now, here we are - 38 weeks. Thankfully, the day I wrote my list I started to sleep better, and it's stayed that way. I'm still tired - still feeling the way I forgot you do in these last weeks; lacking much energy, feeling so heavy and struggling with achy hips - but Baby is doing well, and that's all that matters. I just hope it decides to come sooner rather than later. Then again, we all know how these little ones have plans of their own when it comes to making their way into world. In the meantime, enjoying these last slow days as a little family of three, before we become four.