tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post95682002183216375..comments2024-02-10T08:31:58.242+00:00Comments on On the First Day of Marriage: *Nellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14607947950130398045noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-84416034820735695092020-02-22T13:25:55.427+00:002020-02-22T13:25:55.427+00:00Great article Lot's of information to Read...G...Great article Lot's of information to Read...Great Man Keep Posting and update to People..Thanks<br /><a href="https://www.pura-life.com/products/purabar/" rel="nofollow">breastfeeding</a><br />Tony Henryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04575831130664062535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-21079621837950738342013-03-01T08:21:08.154+00:002013-03-01T08:21:08.154+00:00I just discovered your lovely blog via Fritha'...I just discovered your lovely blog via Fritha's spa post, and couldn't leave again without posting a comment on this post.<br />I failed at breastfeeding my son four years ago - no matter how hard I tried, he simply refused to latch on properly, and in the end I had to admit defeat. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was determined that this time not only was I going to breastfeed, but that I was going to do it well into her first year. Once she was born, I had no aftercare - I simply 'dropped out of the system', they said. Everything seemed fine at first, although she did seem to feed constantly, but I expected it to settle down. As the days went by, it was clear she too had a problem with latching on, she fed for hours and the pain was indescribable. After five weeks, I finally saw a midwife again, who informed me that she had tongue tie - but as she was now over a month old, she wasn't eligible to have it corrected on the NHS, and we would have to pay. We obviously didn't have the money for that, and my midwife told me that breastfeeding would only get more painful - so the decision was made for me. It seemed I was to bottle feed, yet again.<br />Almost a year on, I still feel bitter. I could gnaw my arm off with jealousy when I see anyone breastfeeding, and can't help but think that it should have been me. I feel cheated, angry and let down, and like you, I feel the need to explain my entire story to anyone who will listen. I don't think there's anything wrong with bottle feeding, and would never judge a mother on their choices, but for me, it wasn't a choice, and that's the difference.<br />At the end of the day, though, I've got two healthy, happy children who are well fed, well loved and satisfied - and when you think about it, what matters more than that? <br />Lovely to have found your blog, and thank you for sharing your story xAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10204425200959444872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-39451389528857499022012-05-23T09:42:02.166+01:002012-05-23T09:42:02.166+01:00ah this sounds so familiar and it is so true, many...ah this sounds so familiar and it is <i>so</i> true, many mothers look at you oddly when you do bottle feed but mothers always feel they have the right to judge others (let them judge away). I think we all have these sorts of stories though...I would have cuts on my breasts so bad during the first weeks of breastfeeding that I would cringe when they (ALL four) started to get unsettled knowing that they were hungry again. At the end you have to do what is right for you and your baby and not listen too much to what others say. Enjoy your sweet journey of motherhood...it will never be the same as others and <i>that</i> is ok.Katyhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15844661597736863538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-81545634974496513912012-05-15T12:13:12.183+01:002012-05-15T12:13:12.183+01:00Nell, I hope hitting the publish button has helped...Nell, I hope hitting the publish button has helped you let go of the trauma this experience has caused you. Breastfeeding is not easy, it can be such a struggle, especially in those early days. Just recently I developed a cracked nipple - it was large and infected and extremely painful (even more so that I recall the experience when she was a newborn). I was so upset at the thought of weaning (even at 15 months old!) so I can only imagine the grief you have gone through as a family by not being able to fulfill your desires to breastfeed. <br /><br />But just know this - you are a beautiful mother... and in the big scheme of things - breastfeeding is such a small part of the motherhood journey. That gorgeous girl is happy and healthy and loved. That's all she needs. xxone claire dayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16763753472532837764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-10487706817866022482012-05-05T06:53:36.015+01:002012-05-05T06:53:36.015+01:00Nell, I'm so sorry you had this experience. Mo...Nell, I'm so sorry you had this experience. Motherhood is not a smooth ride. There are good days, notsogood days, easy peasy moments and tough ones like this one. In the end of the day, we just want happy healthy babies...and that is all that matters. Nicole xNicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08264928287385599548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-20738896424499551252012-05-04T23:27:21.591+01:002012-05-04T23:27:21.591+01:00Oh Nell, a courageous post written both honestly a...Oh Nell, a courageous post written both honestly and eloquently. <br />Just as some women grieve for the birth experience they didn't have, you have grieved for the breastfeeding experience that was taken from you. And you know what, crying was probably the best thing you could do. Crying is what all mothers do - it's our letting go, our release, it an example of just how changed we are. <br />I agree with Ben - your body just couldn't handle the pain anymore...but my goodness, your Little Phiney has been blessed with the most beautiful, wise, loving, intelligent muma who will nurture and nourish her with cuddles, kisses, warm baths, home-made organic baby food and the very best sponge cakes.<br />You are doing the most wonderful job of being a Muma and little Phiney is clearly thriving. <br />Next time...it will probably be easier. Make sure you remind me to give you the yoga asanas and herbals tips to help you along.<br /><br />For now, forgive and be present with that gorgeous little girl of yours xxxxxxxxxJodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09754100790023579994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-39572826573242175282012-05-04T08:45:19.690+01:002012-05-04T08:45:19.690+01:00Oh gorgeous girl, I'm so sorry to hear of the ...Oh gorgeous girl, I'm so sorry to hear of the guilt you've been feeling and am so glad you've written this post, not only to record your feelings but also as a resource for others experiencing the same thing. I had feeding issues with Sophie, oversupply issues which you think would be a good thing but ultimately led to us having an unsettled baby all day long and which ended up with us being admitted to the children's ward in hospital to get to the bottom of things. In hospital, I suggested trying a bottle, even of expressed milk but was told I was crazy for even thinking such a thing. We've persisted and thankfully all is good now but I think the push for 'breast is best' is not fair or correct - ultimately 'love is best' should be the motto. Your darling girl will bond with you and love you no matter where her milk comes from. You're doing a wonderful job Mama, don't forget it!! xAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14697932926715802541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-4624520002534092912012-05-03T13:59:27.645+01:002012-05-03T13:59:27.645+01:00Nell I'm only catching up on all of this now. ...Nell I'm only catching up on all of this now. I'm so sorry to hear you experienced such sadness and pain, inside and out. Those early days are vulnerable and confusing and sometimes despite peoples best efforts contradictory advice can be given.<br /><br />Brave of you for writing about it honestly. You're a gorgeous lady and mother, always inspiring and eloquent. I'm sure that your bond with Josephine is not impacted by this, and when she is old enough to understand and read this she'll admire your determination. <br /><br />xxx<br /><br />ps. photos down below are beautiful.mama bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06404136392322995827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-15220346605791157532012-05-03T08:10:26.405+01:002012-05-03T08:10:26.405+01:00"Our daughter is sweet and lovely, divine and..."Our daughter is sweet and lovely, divine and bright, alert and growing perfectly: that's all that matters."<br /><br />You really are an amazing mother Nell and there is no doubt that your bond with Josephine is rock solid. Impenetrable. Never to be broken. You grew her, birthed her and will never stop loving her with every last part of you. Well done for writing about this so beautifully. I only wish that every woman in the same situation, unable to breastfeed, would get the chance to read this. xx<br /><br />And bless Ben. The man is a legend,fast times in münchen.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10420975006395069417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-52976498110415251662012-05-03T07:00:11.581+01:002012-05-03T07:00:11.581+01:00Lovely girl. You're really brave to share this...Lovely girl. You're really brave to share this nell, and as you go on you'll realise more and more that you're not alone. I remember weaning isi coz I wasn't well enough to feed him anymore, and pouring pumped milk down the sink. It was such a desperate feeling I couldn't stop crying. I would say about 90% of my friends have had trouble breast feeding. Really. And those blimmin midwives and their advice. Always contracictory. You will have dark moments again nell but you'll be prepared next time. It's the most wonderful thing and the hardest. But it gets easier. Promise, promise, promise. xFrancescahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954827534874460662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-67840888093714300182012-05-02T23:02:07.934+01:002012-05-02T23:02:07.934+01:00I’m a little late - didn’t have a chance to commen...I’m a little late - didn’t have a chance to comment when I first read this - Oh Nell, you do write so beautifully. I am so sorry it didn’t work out for you, but having read your latest post, I’m happy to hear that it has helped you in getting your feelings out there. You are such a beautiful family, I can tell your home is full of the deepest love, and that’s the most precious thing :) You’ve had so many amazing comments here, and reading them, it’s so interesting to hear how many have gone through the same, agonising experiences (me included), yet when it’s happening to you, you feel so alone and like the only person in the world with all these problems! I too remember the pain, like nothing else, the dread as the little open mouth heads for your nipple - makes me whince just thinking about it. As you know, we got through the other side, but it was hell for 12 weeks! I’m sorry the same didn’t happen for you, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure, if you have another little one, things will be different - quite possibly still painful, but you’ll be in a different place. Lots of love xxx<br /><br />p.s. I also wanted to comment on your birth story, so I’ll do that here too - you are amazing! Keep doing as you’re doing. She’s a lucky little girl xKERRYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15607803753215709975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-11949248156119833872012-05-02T18:51:37.179+01:002012-05-02T18:51:37.179+01:00I'm so touched by this post. I have been feeli...I'm so touched by this post. I have been feeling very low recently as I've had to give up breast feeding my 4 month old (we are still managing one or two breast feeds at night). With little weight gain for five weeks and little support here (we live in France) I was told that I should try formula, like you I had envisioned breast feeding coming naturally and easily to me and couldn't believe I'd have to give my baby THE BOTTLE! But you know what she's happy, she is been fed and loved and that is all that matters. Thank you so much for writing this honest post, I don't feel so alone now. I too was wondering if I was heading down the road to PND, but maybe your right- I'm standing at the gate and I can choose not to take that path. I haven't even read your blog for awhile as I was jealous at how easily your journey seemed to be! Thanks again Nell. Much love. SarahSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11354837695334674888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-65500346290338869472012-05-02T12:55:35.642+01:002012-05-02T12:55:35.642+01:00nell, this is a really beautiful post. I can tell ...nell, this is a really beautiful post. I can tell that you are already such a wonderful mother and I'm so, so sorry that the feeding journey has brought you this heartache. I have no doubt in my mind that many other mamas will be comforted by reading their feelings reflected back to them in this post. good on you for piping up.hugs for you gorgeous lady.bron @ baby spacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01664459733391996000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-70507617731279451762012-05-02T00:47:43.129+01:002012-05-02T00:47:43.129+01:00I think there is way too much pressure these days ...I think there is way too much pressure these days to do it all perfectly. to have the perfect natural birth, to breastfeed perfectly. But seriously, when all is said and done, you have a baby to have a child - not to have the perfect birth etc... In the end it has little impact on the life that you have together. <br />There is way too much judgement going on in this area and even though my births were easy and I was able to feed my babies, I still felt it in other areas (OMG I co-slept with my kids). Anyway, in the end I decided that any decision I made was between me and my baby (and husband) and they were the only ones that mattered. You have to do what makes you happy because you need to be a happy mother. Babies don't care whether you breastfed them or not, they care that you are not stressed. they care that you are around to play with them and laugh with them, they care that you put their best interests first. Oh, and they are not scarred because you suffered from PND (I had it with my first born). <br />My advice is to love them lots, hold them lots and try to enjoy them without feeling judged. <br />You go girl :)<br />L<br />xLevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10167382670215032422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-21169524319292095072012-05-01T22:38:46.478+01:002012-05-01T22:38:46.478+01:00We need more brave women like you Nell! Well done ...We need more brave women like you Nell! Well done and thank you for writing such an honest and frank account. The guilt I felt when I had to move from breast feeding to bottle after my little boy was just 3 weeks was immense (and I think only others who have experienced that can fully comprehend the sadness and guilt we put ourselves through). I had literally NO idea about how bottle feeding worked - so sure that I would breast feed and hated pulling out bottles in public- convinced someone/everyone would be looking on and thinking badly of me. When I look back at photos of my boy at 3 weeks I am sad at how thin he looks and all because I was struggling with the feeding, had no support from midwives / health advisors who all assured me "breast is/ "was" best" and was adamant I could do it!- nothing like the chubby cheeks he was born with and nothing like the chubby legs he sports now! You are clearly an amazing Mama who cares so so much for her beautiful little girl and has done what is right for her (and for you)- so if you can - try not to beat yourself up anymore - in a few months she'll be onto solids and you'll have a whole new journey to explore and share! and from what I know the bond we have with our babies bears no connection with the milk - its the love that counts xxxlucy.carkeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00809227594981644918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-2645416107230749982012-05-01T11:30:26.516+01:002012-05-01T11:30:26.516+01:00Hey Nell - thank you for sharing this with us. It ...Hey Nell - thank you for sharing this with us. It moved me to tears, so full of emotion and love. I'm just so sorry to hear you had such a hard time in those early days. Josephine is perfect and seems to be such a happy baby. You are such a gorgeous family, such a strong unit, and I love all your photos :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-15754303446835757532012-05-01T09:11:05.938+01:002012-05-01T09:11:05.938+01:00thanks for spreading the word, nell! Sharing our e...thanks for spreading the word, nell! Sharing our experiences is such a good way to make us all realise we're not alone in the battles we face. And I agree with all the other comments, I've never seen a happier, healthier, more loved or loving bub than yours. Well done xflora bloomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10145683535627564180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-10876943733682602842012-04-30T13:55:20.575+01:002012-04-30T13:55:20.575+01:00Women are not educated enough about breast feeding...Women are not educated enough about breast feeding.<br />It's wonderful that you are proud to share your story. It's not easy and your story explains a lot.<br />Well done Nell on raising a beautiful little girl. xxxSammiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11894384858566782943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-80131985659280618602012-04-30T13:21:13.595+01:002012-04-30T13:21:13.595+01:00Thankyou for sharing your story. I can relate to y...Thankyou for sharing your story. I can relate to your pain. We had a terribly tough time bf-ing aswell and I got such a serious case of baby blues I would call it more than that. And I remember the advice, always contradictory, never clear what we should do. It can be so hard to forgive yourself for not breastfeeding, or for having to stop. But the main thing is that your little treasure is healthy and loved. Hang in there.CASPERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03080641148587915404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-13491668280977970372012-04-30T13:01:33.193+01:002012-04-30T13:01:33.193+01:00I love your bravery and honesty in writing about a...I love your bravery and honesty in writing about a subject that can be so controversial and misunderstood. I thank you for sharing your story. I've been lucky with feeding my babies and I never understood exactly what women meant when they said they tried but couldn't breastfeed. I never wanted to ask them more about it for fear that I would sound like I was being judgmental or showing off. I try not to be judgmental, I think nearly all of us try to do the very best we can as parents. <br /><br />I wouldn't feel any shame if I were you. It's so hard when we feel our bodies have let us down though. I felt that with Cohen's birth, that the forceps delivery meant that I had failed in some way. But I don't think like that now. He was 9 pound 4 and distressed and all we want is happy, healthy babies after all. It takes time to get a bit of distance and healing with these things though. Go gently. xxChristina Lowryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18370046598325657449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-4890741449312759072012-04-30T11:41:28.265+01:002012-04-30T11:41:28.265+01:00You're a wonderful mum.
I'm sorry you had...You're a wonderful mum. <br />I'm sorry you had such an awful time - I'm still traumatised by our early breastfeeding dramas which only lasted a few days. It's an act you expect to come naturally and it SO doesn't (for many). I remember pumps, shields, lactation consultants, helpers, many cushions. And the sinking feeling when my screaming babe would be passed to me, knowing I had to go through it again And the conflicting advice - argh. Don't ever feel like you've failed, you haven't at all.<br />You're happy (now), she's happy. That's all that matters.<br />xoClairsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18325228052380001322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-75855273667468895412012-04-30T11:24:08.936+01:002012-04-30T11:24:08.936+01:00What an incredibly brave post - thank you for shar...What an incredibly brave post - thank you for sharing your experience. Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have such caring and strong parents. I wish you all luck in your journey together.Lucehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12076245333432986092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-19658645796488477442012-04-30T11:10:47.031+01:002012-04-30T11:10:47.031+01:00sending hugs your way lady, such a brave and beaut...sending hugs your way lady, such a brave and beautiful post, i admire your strength. xLittle Paper Treeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02345903055056613782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-38038162306345295262012-04-30T10:50:48.916+01:002012-04-30T10:50:48.916+01:00Dear Nell,
To misquote Shakespeare: the path of m...Dear Nell,<br /><br />To misquote Shakespeare: the path of motherhood never did run smooth. That rocky path however has made the three of you an EVEN better team and strengthened your love for each other. Hurrah to that, I say!<br /><br />Breastfeeding, as already expressed in your comments above, can be VERY hard indeed. Your words brought back the pain of cracked, bleeding nipples and toe-curling pain at the relentless feeding of a hungry newborn in an instant. It can leave one feeling very lonely and totally inadequate. You are a brave and splendid mother and I am cheering you on from across the Channel! ;-)<br /><br />I write the following words very cautiously to help perhaps those reading and living through a similar experience. With my eldest daughter - sixteen today - I was wrongly advised by most midwives and health visitors NOT to use breast shields. Except for one wise soul who urged me to. Those silicon shields got me through the hard reality of the first few weeks of new-mother-breastfeeding and on to even-keeled feeding territory.<br /><br />Nell, your daughter is beautiful. You are beautiful. The next time will be easier somehow.<br /><br />Enjoy and savour.<br /><br />Stephaniemillefeuilleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14608950213999238191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3223966294194668259.post-46062717439407912112012-04-30T09:41:02.420+01:002012-04-30T09:41:02.420+01:00I agree with all these ladies! You're so brave...I agree with all these ladies! You're so brave in sharing your story and a beautiful mama to boot! I too was certain I was going to breastfeed before Reuben came; but really had no idea how difficult it would be! I am incredibly thankful we've been able to keep at it - but we had to go through painful engorgement, crackled nipples, getting Reu's tongue clipped (because it was a bit short), horribly painful thrush that went into my milk ducts and almost a bout of mastitis. I am so glad for the support of La Leche League. After nearly 3 months of feeding it does feel a lot better, but we're still learning all the time.<br />lots of love to you and your little girl xxemilyclarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18083829971166295179noreply@blogger.com